A Culture of Life / A Culture of Death

Why in our country do we have to make every issue a political issue? What exactly is a culture of death. Today, we had to put our dog down. He has been our trusty dog for 12 years. We took him in when he needed a home, but as with other times that you help others, we got back 100 fold what we gave to this adorable dog. Certainly, I don’t believe that I belong to a culture of death for euthanizing a dog whose quality of life had evaporated over the last few days. Why do we have to use such politically charged terms, when what we are talking about choice that pain people on a very deep level. We get so caught up in the black and white, we fail to appreciate the shade of grey that lead to the choice which we so easily condemn. What if instead of standing on either periphery, we leapt into the middle and tried to help the people that have to make these choices? What if we could preempt these choices from ever having to be made? Perhaps if we stopped being so high and mighty, we could leave the judgment to God and instead be his hands on earth to comfort his children in their time of crisis.

I can tell you I personally have struggled with the choice to euthanize James. I could not come to terms with making a choice that I believed was God’s. I prayed for his intercession, but He left the situation in my hands and I could not continue to see him suffer. Fortunately, the Veterinary Hospital staff was wonderfully supportive and helpful. Their compassion was much appreciated at such a difficult time. As the doctor said, it is his job to help animals live a happy and healthy life, but this is also a part of his job, assisting animals out of suffering. It is not a part of his job that he enjoys, but he is glad that he is able to help them in their time of suffering.

I think we could all learn from that philosophy. Instead of being a culture of life or a culture of death, let’s have a culture of compassion.



In loving memory of James
1-5-96 to 9-11-08

Dear God, Please Show Mercy

There is twice in my life that I have prayed to God for death. I know that we are supposed to cherish life and I do, but there is a point that the question becomes what is life. I also however have learned that I don’t have it in me to be God and instead rely on Him to be merciful.

The first time I remember praying for death was when my mother was diagnosed with stage 3 / 4 esophageal cancer. She had contracted pneumonia and had thrown blot clots in her body. She was in surgery and my father and I were sitting on the bench outside the hospital. I sat and began to pray, but I realized that I wasn’t sure what I wanted. Certainly, it would make sense to pray for her recovery. I paused and looked to heaven. Was that indeed the best course? Should she recover to die a painful prolonged death? I prayed to God for Him to do what was best even if that brought sadness to those of us left behind. I asked him to keep her from suffering as much as possible. She did come out of that surgery, and unfortunately went through many more surgeries before dying a few months later.

I am faced with this same thought now, but this time for a dog. Our dear dog, James, is 12 years old and decaying practically before our eyes. We have had him to the vet several times and we are told that it is just age. He has lost much of his fur and his ribs ripple through his skin. When he was laying down the other day, I thought there was a growth coming from his side, but it turned out to be his shoulder blade. He is having accidents around the house and is taking medicine for that. A sweet nurse there keeps telling me that I’ll know when I need to take the next step, but I don’t have it in me. He is having a hard time getting up and often needs help, but he also nuzzles up to those he loves. He is eating and drinking. The term puppy eyes can even apply to geriatric cataract clouded eyes. How can I let go of this dog that has been a part of the family for so long? He would guard the kids and I when my husband traveled and curl up on my feet when I was reading. In the yard, we have never had to leash him as he always stays around. So again I find myself praying to God for mercy. The God of Life and Birth, I am calling to for mercy in death, to assuage suffering, and to call our James home. Amen

Death with a Coffin Nearby

In the series of books that I am reading by Pearl S. Buck, a coffin is purchased and placed near a dying man’s bed to reassure him that all thing are prepared for his death (this happens more than once in the series):

"Beside his bed stood his coffin wish his sons had bought for him and placed there for his comfort” pg 7 Sons

I can’t imagine that my father would be too reassured if I did that. I think that he would think that I was pushing him toward death. In American culture, death has become a fearful part of life. I personally have always wondered why this is so. The Bible says:

John 5:24 "Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that heareth my word, and believeth on him that sent me, hath everlasting life, and shall not come into condemnation; but is passed from death unto life."

And

John 11:25-26 "Jesus said unto her, I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live: [26] And whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die. Believest thou this?"

Yet, death is still feared. Now I am not saying that we should rush toward death, but instead, we should accept it, perhaps even be honored to be invited into God’s plan.

When my mother passed away in 2001, my father and I planned her memorial service as a celebration of life as opposed to a somber gathering. This idea always befuddled me as a child. Why would you celebrate the loss of someone you love. Now as an adult I understand that we celebrate that the person has fulfilled God’s plan on earth and are now taken to heaven. If someone had explained this to me then, I may have better accepted the losses that I faced as a child.

Also, given that the death of our own physical form is just the shedding of a layer that allows us to enter the kingdom heaven, perhaps Pearl Buck and the early Chinese had the right idea, by leaving the casket nearby we can be reminded of the heavenly journey we are about to take. This will allow us to be less fearful and our loved ones to be less sad.