Did you know there is Godtube?

I found out like YouTube, TeacherTube, there is also Godtube.com. This is the number 1 video from 2008. I suggest that you get the tissues out.

Premarital Relations

Have you heard of promise rings? A ring given by the father to the daughter when she pledges to remain a virgin until getting married. I think the whole concept is a little strange, especially when they are presented in a large ceremony, but on the positive side at least it brings up the conversation of premarital sex. This conversation has been brought up twice today in our teenage household. Once because Tuesday night is the airing of The Secret Life of an American Teenager and two, due to very inappropriate IM’s from her friend’s boyfriend.

Having seen the previews of The Secret Life of an American Teenager, dd has only watched the show with me sitting beside her. The show is based on a teenager getting pregnant. I have now seen 3 or 4 episodes which have entered dd into many delicate discussions, but at least we are talking about it. It certainly doesn’t glamorize teenage relations as it is obviously how the main character, Amy, got into such a crisis. On the other hand, it seems like all the teens are physically involved except for one. The one, of course, is the religious girl, the goody, goody. Although I find this character very stereotypical, I must admit that I hope that over the course of the show she doesn’t relent just for the sake of plot.

The question arises – does being religious really reduce teen pregnancy? I did see in our other situation, inappropriate emails, that the answer to this question may be “yes”. Ok, it may be well too early to say that it will, but at least when bugged by this boy on the IM, my daughter came back with some pretty good retorts. He said something about her wanting it. She said that she wasn’t doing anything until she got married. He tried another tactic, “Well, what if you die before you get married?” “Then I’ll die a virgin.” While I was appalled by this conversation and it let to yet another conversation between my daughter and I, I was thrilled at her insistence of no premarital sex. She was very clear that as a Christian this was her obligation. I’m sure, unfortunately, she will face this question many more times before she is actually married. I think that our influence and openness will help her make the right decision, but I believe her strong belief in chastity as a requirement of her religion will be the real guidepost along her path.

Husband and Wife in Faith?? Will he even come?

”Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6

“. . . the father to the children shall make known thy truth.” Isaiah 38:19

“My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother.” Proverbs 1:8

I had not thought of raising children and church myself, let alone discuss it with my husband, of course that is, until it was an issue. I knew my husband was not a church goer when we met. I knew he was an altar boy as a child, but only by parental force. I never thought about how this would affect us as parents or as partners. But I will tell you, when your four year old asks you, “Why doesn’t Daddy go to church?” or claims exemption from having to go because “Daddy doesn’t go”, it quickly becomes an issue.

I started with asking, progressed with pleading, and finally just reached frustrated acceptance. Every week the kids and I would get up, get dressed, and head to church. I was convinced that others in the church thought that I was a single mom. I even began referring to myself as a church widow.

As the kids got older and became more involved, he was seen at occasional junior choir performances or perhaps the Christmas Pageant. Then as I got involved, sometimes he would help at a Pancake Breakfast or other event. The congregation loved his help but knew that as soon as he was done helping, he would be gone.

As the kids grew and learned, they became concerned that Daddy was missing out. They noticed that other families sat together. They recognized my church widowhood and felt orphaned themselves. No matter what we said, it did not seem to make an impression. In fact, it sometimes drew angry responses. I had to ask the kids to let it go, but I did remind them, especially my son, to remember this so that they would be different as parents themselves.
We did convince him to join us on a mission trip to Kentucky. We went for fellowship and missionary work. He went to work, work. He happily swung his hammer. He worked through our day off and used his spare time to do his regular work on his computer. He would even try to skip our evening prayers.

Then God sent an angel. Not a white robed or feathered cherub, but a man. A man that was not afraid to express his surety in God’s presence; A man that became a friend to my husband through scouts; A man who welcomed us into his family and openly shared God plan. The man, Bart, often would say his peace and then apologize for pushing his beliefs onto us. I think he was afraid of offending us, but something about the way he shared opened my husband’s ears. After 15 years of begging and pleading, my husband announced that he was going to come to church with us. I think I actually held my breath – afraid that if I jolted the moment, he would change his mind, but he didn’t. He came to church. He stayed after for coffee hour. He discussed the sermon. Next week was no different. He came again and again. People at church actually started commenting about his attendance. Kids that had gone to Kentucky with us actually commented about his attendance to the minister. They were inspired that such a man’s man could swing a hammer and be a part of the church. I no longer had to cajole him. He was now the first one ready and often pushing us out the door.

Our church has a strange tradition of “closing” for the summer. Technically we just exchange with another church. We go to another church in July and the other church joins us in August, but truthfully most people stop attending when school gets out and don’t come back until after Labor Day. When the first summer came after my husband started coming, I thought that my dream had ended, but the angel interceded again. The idea of “ending” church was foreign to his family and he refused to embrace it. So we all kept going and completed the summer swap.
And then I knew the seed had found fertile ground when he had to plan a “ticket” (a planned program based around a core idea that develops the self and advances Scouting in some way) for his Boy Scout WoodBadge. He called me from the weekend retreat with his plan. Tears streamed down my face as he explained his plan to increase his understanding of Protestantism and to bring his belief in God to Scouting. At that moment as I listened to my husband describe his ticket, God reminded me that things don’t happen in my time but in His and that truly miracles still happen.

Since then, my husband has attended a Bible study course, encouraged us to serve coffee hour for the congregation, and looks for ways for us to help at the church. He requested an audio version of the Bible that he could listen to on his commute to work. He even goes to church on weeks that I may be unable to and comes home early from camping to make sure that he and my son make it to services. I no longer have to fret about the message that my son is receiving from his father, because my son has seen the blessing of a father leading his family in faith.