Premarital Relations

Have you heard of promise rings? A ring given by the father to the daughter when she pledges to remain a virgin until getting married. I think the whole concept is a little strange, especially when they are presented in a large ceremony, but on the positive side at least it brings up the conversation of premarital sex. This conversation has been brought up twice today in our teenage household. Once because Tuesday night is the airing of The Secret Life of an American Teenager and two, due to very inappropriate IM’s from her friend’s boyfriend.

Having seen the previews of The Secret Life of an American Teenager, dd has only watched the show with me sitting beside her. The show is based on a teenager getting pregnant. I have now seen 3 or 4 episodes which have entered dd into many delicate discussions, but at least we are talking about it. It certainly doesn’t glamorize teenage relations as it is obviously how the main character, Amy, got into such a crisis. On the other hand, it seems like all the teens are physically involved except for one. The one, of course, is the religious girl, the goody, goody. Although I find this character very stereotypical, I must admit that I hope that over the course of the show she doesn’t relent just for the sake of plot.

The question arises – does being religious really reduce teen pregnancy? I did see in our other situation, inappropriate emails, that the answer to this question may be “yes”. Ok, it may be well too early to say that it will, but at least when bugged by this boy on the IM, my daughter came back with some pretty good retorts. He said something about her wanting it. She said that she wasn’t doing anything until she got married. He tried another tactic, “Well, what if you die before you get married?” “Then I’ll die a virgin.” While I was appalled by this conversation and it let to yet another conversation between my daughter and I, I was thrilled at her insistence of no premarital sex. She was very clear that as a Christian this was her obligation. I’m sure, unfortunately, she will face this question many more times before she is actually married. I think that our influence and openness will help her make the right decision, but I believe her strong belief in chastity as a requirement of her religion will be the real guidepost along her path.